Broken Wings
by LaNaniuska
Summary: Regina was trying to move on from her feelings towards Robin, the only problem was that she didn't know how to do just that.
1. Chapter 1

Alright, so after watching that awful, awful episode where poor Regina was left in the dust once again, I just had to write this. It's angsty, be warned, but I mean to add more to it and hopefully, stretch a few more chapters that will eventually make everything Outlaw Queen be good and right again. Uff… anyway, let me know what you think.

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'_My pain lies within, and these external manners of laments are merely shadows to the unseen agony that swells with the silence of my tortured soul...'_

The water has turned icy-cold, so cold that she could feel it chastising her skin, burning her until every inch of her felt so numb that it made her ache. But even though the cold was so cutting, she still remained submerged in the water, staring at the ceiling as dancing shadows surrounded her.

She didn't mind the cold, cold was her new code of life and she has learnt to embrace it.

It was how she lived now; cold and alone… alone and neglected, spiritless, sidelined and to certain extent, forgotten.

It hadn't always been like that though; _she_ hadn't been like that. Just as the water that now filled the porcelain tub, she has once been brimming warmth… once, but not anymore. The fire in her, that one that once consumed her with either her thirst of revenge or a strong will to live and be a better person for her son had extinguished the day her heart withered and died.

And now… all she was, was cold. All there was, was nothing… just a huge void consuming her inside out that only served to make her feel so tired of everything.

Casting her heavy lidded eyes down and forcing them not to shut themselves, she sucked in a breath. Through the chiaroscuro of the room she could see her body underneath the still water and the skin that was not covered by her underwear seemed too pale to her own eyes, almost translucent.

It was quite odd and for some reason she couldn't really comprehend, the sight of her in such a state made her breathing slow down to a point where it was almost imperceptible and she wondered what would happen if it just ceased.

And by God, she wanted it to cease, she wanted the pain to go away so that her soul could be free for what could be the first time in her oh so harrowing life.

Musing about that, she brought her right hand out of the water and ran her forefinger through the smooth edge of the tub until it reached the flat surface, right where a small bottle of pills lay open. Archie has given those to her to supposedly help her sleep long ago and that night she has taken them out of an impulse.

Sleep… if only she could succumb into an eternal slumber and if she could do it so enforcedly and in such a mundane manner. No magic, no effort… If she could just let herself indulge to sorrow and give way to the pangs of despair.

She took the small bottle in her hand to take yet another look at it and then she shook it, half expecting the sound of the pills against the plastic to break the silence of the room. But no sound came out of it as the bottle was empty; she had emptied it earlier that night.

Putting the bottle down, she sighed again.

Her fingers slid a bit further on and when they came upon her cell phone, she gave it a slight nudge before drawing back in a hurry and when she drowned her hand back underneath the water a few drops splashed against her face and she closed her eyes. She was just so tired.

For the last five days she has been feeling like that, devastated and as she was learning, she didn't know how to deal with it; she has tried though and she even managed, bracing herself with Henry's love and understanding and as weird as it was, with Tinker Bell's support. But now… now she was on her own and apparently with no one lurking around to check on her, she couldn't take it.

In the past, when something of such magnitude would hit her and oh how they have hit her, she has always found something to look forward, something to make her want to go on. But now there was nothing, she had no hope and thus, there was no will.

Breathing in, she rested her head against the edge of the tub. No, there was truly no happy ending for villains, there was only pain. Pain and a damned memory that seemed to have a liking to see her suffering and thus she would remember everything as if it was happening in that same moment.

Yes, that was her own curse, remembering everything; every detail, every movement of his body as it moved towards _her_, kissing her head and pulling her near. She remembered what he said to her, how that voice that not so long ago has assured her that she was his second chance and he hers had called that other woman's name so lovingly….

But as if that wasn't enough, she could also remembered how it felt to see them, reuniting, the raw feelings of the moments as her heart, the one she was feeling stronger than ever hammered cruelly against her chest.

How could she ever forget? The scene had been replaying in her mind over and over again.

Shaking her head, she chuckled dryly. Who would have thought that the strong and powerful Evil Queen was anything but said things and that the only thing one had to do to finally defeat her was taking her hope away?

"It's not fair." She mumbled under her breath and her voice sounded so alien to her own ears.

But the worse of all was that she didn't blame anyone but herself; because even though she was momentarily overcome with a need to go back to her old self and kill Emma for doing what she did, she couldn't blame her… and even when half her world began to crumble all around her when Robin went to his wife, she didn't blame him.

How could she? But that she understood him didn't stop it from hurting so much.

Opening her eyes, she lifted her hand again and grabbed the mobile. She had turned it off to be left undisturbed but now she brought it to life with a single touch.

For a wild moment she felt like calling Henry… for an even wilder one she felt like calling Robin…

It could be just for a quick moment, just to hear his voice… but no, she shouldn't be doing this to herself, she was in a frail state of mind and she wouldn't be able to take his rejection. It would be too much.

What had become of her? She had been reduced to a pile of nothingness, she was broken, alone and losing her mind. She was not even the shadow of the woman she had once been as she just felt like now she had nothing to hold on to.

That thought made her choke in a sob and soon after, she felt like it was all too much and she cried. She cried for what it could have been, she cried in mourning of the chance that was ripped out of her hands so cruelly and she cried for all the pent up feelings she has kept for herself. It wasn't until tears were starting to dry in her face as a sense of calmness began to evolve her.

Hugging her knees up to her chest, she felt the water caressing softly her flesh as she breathed. She now felt eerily calm, so calm that she could sleep forever… and as promises of dreams of an eternity without pain started to settle in her mind, her head dropped to the back of the tub and she started to feel no more.

For a few minutes, maybe even hours, she couldn't really tell, she refrained from any movement; she might have even dozed off. But when she came back from her reverie she submerged her head under the surface, letting the cold water take her whole.

Her first real thought of course was of him and trying to look things from a different perspective, she tried to be happy for him. He was a good man that deserved happy and well… she didn't want to drag him down with her demons so maybe it was all for the best.

Yes, maybe she could take solace in his happiness… she should… if only she could be strong enough to do it.

As she tried to convince herself that she could at least try to do that, out of nowhere something grabbed her by the shoulders and she panicked and she opened her mouth to yell, but as she did that she only managed to swallow a mouthful of water.

It was ridiculous, but she automatically thought of her sister coming back to life just to laugh at her pain before killing her and she embraced her fate, but when whatever or whoever had taken hold of her pulled her to the surface as she coughed her way out, the only thing she could feel was surprise.

Her heart stared to beat with renewed force and for once, she was too stunned to speak.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Regina wiped the water out of her eyes and came face to face with none other than Robin himself. He was still holding her in a tight grip and his scorching blue orbs were intently delving into hers.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a daze even though her voice came kind of spiteful. "Did you break into my house?"

Not that her tone was any indication of what she felt, but it was just that she hadn't seen him since that fateful night at the dinner and now that she saw him there, she couldn't help but to feel a dull sense of self-pity and anger consume her.

It was just that… he had no right to be there, he had no right to anything and the knowledge that his presence ached deep in her chest was too much and well, what better way to externalize the turmoil of feelings than how she best knew best? By lifting her walls ten feet in the air while playing pretend; her game? Indifference.

But apparently, he had questions of his own too and he didn't wait long before firing them. "What is this?" He asked in a hiss as he eased his hold on her to reach out for the bottle of pills. "Did you take these?"

She looked down to the bottle and then back to his face. He looked tired, his eyes casting a dull sparkle as his stare bore into her own eyes.

"Answer me, Regina." He dropped the bottle into the tub and grabbed her again to give her a slight shake.

She shook her head in denial. "No… I just…" He didn't let her finish as one of his hands went up to her face, with his thumb he stretched down the skin below her eye as he inspected her.

"What are you doing?"

"The bottle was empty, where are the pills?" He asked still searching into her eyes.

All of a sudden, she knew why he was asking, he believed she had taken all those pills and well, she couldn't deny that the idea had danced through her mind. That's why she had taken them with her, but at the end she just couldn't do. Death was so… final and Henry-less and at the end of it all she emptied the bottle into the sink.

"I didn't try to kill myself if that's what you think." She said haughtily, her chin tilted up and her eyes defiant. After saying that, she pointed to the sink and being the incredulous human being that he was, he went to check for himself.

But what if she had taken them? Was he a doctor now as well as a thief? Because yes, a thief indeed he was, because after taking everything she had to give, he took it all and ran with it.

When he was satisfied with seeing the pills on the sink he walked back to the tub and grabbed her by the waist to put her up on her feet. Then we hugged her to his chest.

At the gesture, her walls crashed down at his feet and she just had to close her eyes, already feeling them watering. It was just that having him so close and yet so far made her heart ache in yearning.

He probably didn't know what he was doing to her, because if he knew he wouldn't even be here.

"I'm soaking you all over." She whispered as a way to make him cut his embrace short but he just held her closer, his warm lips pressing against her forehead.

At the feeling of his lips and his arms on her, Regina swallowed down a lump and clutched at his already wet shirt. She was afraid that if she even attempted to put her arms around him she wouldn't be able to let go.

But then again, maybe it was already too late.

She has been able to hold her composure as he held her onto him, but when he cupped her face into his hands and brought his lips down to hers she knew she was doomed, there was no turning back from her, and as he kissed her and she kissed him she wished he could take her pain away.

But he wasn't going to do that… she needed to remember that. She needed to remember that he had a wife that was very much alive and that he would never choose her over said woman.

With that in mind, too soon she pulled away.

"Don't do that." Her voice trembled and she hated it, she hated him for making her feel weak. "I'm not going to kill myself so just leave and go back to your… family."

Blinking his eyes, he wiped with his thumb the tears that had slipped down her cheeks, but to her words he said nothing.

"Are you deaf, leave!" She pushed him away, her hands pushing at his chest insistently.

"Don't be like this." He said while standing his ground and his voice sounded as tired as he looked. "You don't… know how hard this has been for me."

Blinking a couple of times, Regina stared at him in stupefaction. "Hard…" Her voice, low and even didn't even tremble and she was proud for that. "You just got the love of your life back; I would hardly call that as being _hard_."

"Regina…"

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of him, not because she lost him. "No, just leave, okay? If you ever cared about me at all, just leave… please."

To that he said nothing, he just remained there. She could feel him and she had to fight so hard against the urge of throwing her arms around him and beg him to stay with her.

"I will leave, but I needed to tell you this. I can't, I can't for the life of me stop thinking about you. Even though I know I shouldn't, even though I don't want to."

Opening her eyes and feeling how they automatically started leaking, the dark haired woman wrapped her arms around her midsection. She did that to find some courage, but when she found none she just sucked in a shaky breath. "Save it, I don't want to hear it."

"I wasn't planning for this to happen… I didn't know and I was not prepared for it. This whole thing took me by surprise and I just don't know how to deal with it. Marian… you must know that I love her and that I would give my own life just so she would live herself…"

Shaking her head and looking at the ceiling as new tears started to flow, Regina clenched her teeth. "I don't want to hear it."

"But even though I feel that way, I can't look at her face without thinking about you… without wanting you to be the one with me."

A sob escaped her and her hand went to angrily wipe at her eyes because in that moment, she was almost sure that if she wanted to, she could reach to him and kiss him and he would chose her, he would chose _her_… in that moment. But she was also very aware that if he did that, he would come to resent her in the near future and that was worse than anything she could think of.

"Go to your wife, Robin. You were looking for a second chance and you got it when she came back. Take it and run with it without looking back."

"What if I can't?" He asked in a whisper

"You'll do fine…" Breathing out, Regina looked into the blue of his eyes and she couldn't help but to realize that having him looking at her like that was almost enough to make her believe that there was a chance…

But no, if there was something she needed to get into her skull was that there were no happy endings for the likes of her and let alone second chances; there was only pain.

She knew it now, she has been a fool for believing that there was a chance and now she was paying the price of believing. All she has done, all she has given up… nothing mattered because life has deemed that she didn't matter.

But now that she knew that, she was going to brace herself against feeling more disappointment.

Pursing his lips, he leaned forward and grabbing her face, he kissed her cheek. His lips remained there for a while and the scent of him so deep and alluring made her heart ache, but then he pulled away and without looking back, he turned and walked away.

Standing there and watching, she felt what was left of her heart swell and then deflate, leaving nothing in her but a void that was never going to be filled again…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: First of all, I want to thank you all for reading, reviewing and putting this in alert, I really appreciate it. Now, as for this story goes, the more I think about it, the more I want to continue it; but I also want to have a different approach on the whole thing; but man, it is kind of hard with so many amazing stories out there about this horrible twist in Outlaw Queen! So to make it a bit different, the only thing I could think of was having a Robin POV to see how it flows, it's kind of a test to change it a bit. Anyway, this is a fan fiction and I write what I wish would happen so it won't completely follow the story arc (as in I may make a few changes) so take that in consideration and let me know what to think ;)

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'_Look at me through my eyes and feel the pain I hide inside.'_

He has been watching her… he has always been watching her. He has been doing so since his eyes first caught a glimpse of her… mighty, feisty and more than a little captivating and now, more than a year after that moment and with a history both beautiful and tragic but that all the same intertwined their lives, he couldn't just stop watching her.

It was just how it was and if for some reason he would be forced to confess it all, he would have no choice than to admit that with everything that was going on, the guilt of doing so was all too consuming.

It wasn't like he could help it though; at this point of his life his eyes would follow her whenever they caught a glimpse of her as if they had a life of their own. It was as if an alien entity that wanted nothing but to torture his already shattered soul had taken control of his body the moment they first meet just to force his eyes to follow her.

It wasn't in him to control that and as it turned out, after the dramatic turns of events that came to rattle the foundations of the life he was starting to build with _her_, he now had no choice but to just watch.

By now his clear blue eyes were trained in the arts of her, they knew when she was near and as soon as they picked up her approaching presence they would dart to her, drinking in her silhouette as she walked by.

It was a routine now, a way of life taken by circumstances that shouldn't have been. He was, he sensed and he watched; then, before he could do anything else she was gone. She was always gone.

Dragging his fingers through his short hair, Robin forced his eyes to move away from the door she disappeared into, focusing instead a bit farther up, his eyes taking in the sight of a sky full of shivering star that was apt to entrance the toughest one.

It was a beautiful night, indeed it was, but for the life of him, he couldn't get himself to enjoy it.

No, if truth be told, all he could think in that moment was in the fact that he was tired of the compulsive routine that has taken over his life; he was tired of sneaking every single night from the place he should stay just so that he could lurk around her… so that he, like a burglar in the middle of the night could hide in the darkness in hopes of catching a glimpse of her.

Has he always been so weak? He didn't think so, but as much as he had tried to he couldn't stop himself from doing it; he was always in the same predicament, watching as she kept going, always one step behind of her when he wanted to be one step closer.

Closing his eyes tight shut, Robin tried to remember how it has started that night and as he thought about it, he decided that it has been like most of his nights; he has been settling a fire when he first thought about her and as always, he began to wonder how she was doing. One thing lead to another; he started to feel as if he was drowning and couldn't quite reach the surface and then, as most nights, he waited until everyone at camp was asleep so that he could take a walk in the forest.

Now, somehow, his nightly walks into the forest would always lead him to the same place, the corner that lead to her house and that's where he was in that moment.

Sometimes he would go there just until he saw all the lights go out, but sometimes, he remained even after that, wondering if he would ever get the courage of knocking or who knew, break into the house to actually talk to her as he has done not so long ago.

He never went that far again, not that it mattered, because every time went there, it was always with the same purpose, to see her even if it was for afar.

Now, he wasn't always lucky as most of the times he would go there to find her house dark and closed off, but in nights like this one, when he actually had the chance to actually see her, he was always left feeling a huge void in his chest.

It wasn't fair; none if it was… it wasn't fair for him to feel like he was torn between two opposites, it wasn't fair for his wife who has done nothing to deserve a man who had his heart split in two and it wasn't fair for Regina.

No, it was definitely not fair for Regina and he felt the most for her. Yes it was truth that she was a strong woman, perhaps the strongest he has ever known, but it was also true that there was so much a person could take and Regina has gone through enough already; and then… knowing how deep she felt things, he couldn't help but to worry.

So yes, Robin feared for her, he just had to think on how the thought of ending it all by taking all those pills crossed her mind or on how she has tried a very similar solution at her castle and that was enough to make him feel like despairing.

It was just that… if she ever attempted such a thing, it would kill him.

So very deep into his thoughts he has been that when he realized that he was walking in the direction she had gone into he was a bit puzzled; but it seemed that as much as he didn't have control of his eyes he didn't have control of his legs either.

There was nothing to do, he was drawn to her; even if she had no idea that she still did that to him, the fact was that her whole being magnetized his every cell, calling him, luring him after her.

A prisoner of his own body he had no choice on the matter so he allowed his determined legs to carry him closer to her. In that manner, silent as a shadow he made it to her door.

Once there he debated between knocking and using a few tricks he knew to break in, but when he saw through the window that she was walking to her backyard, he decided instead on rounding the house and just making it to her.

He did all that without really thinking about it, he saw her walking out of her house and into the open and he did his best in guarding his distance while watching as her graceful movements lead her towards her apple tree.

He walked after her without her knowledge and even in the dark, he got the opportunity to drink from her appearance even when her back was to him. That night she had her down, cascading down to her shoulders perfectly… and he would bet on anything that if he had the chance of running his fingers through the dark locks he would find her hair soft and silky.

Her hips were also hypnotizing and he moved his eyes to them, watching them swing as she walked.

Regina … he has been always drawn to her but it was so much more than that, it went so much deeper and he was sure that it went both ways.

Not that it mattered anymore, no… nothing of that mattered now because they all fell victims of a twist of destiny that changed everything.

So yes, the only thing he could do was watch as he always did, but this time he did a bit more and he followed her, watching as she grabbed an apple and then sat in a bench nearby.

"Trespassing is a felony around here, did you know that?"

Lifting his eyes to hers, he found her voice to come off as cold and detached but when he finally looked into her wide and glassy eyes, he could see the storm wanting to break free. He has always been able to read her eyes and that night wasn't the exception.

Sure, the rest of her screamed nothing but indifference and perhaps annoyance; her posture, straight and proud, her face a stoic mask, her chin defiantly lifted…

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her face keeping the same stoic look.

Not knowing what to say, Robin walked closer and blinked a few times as he shrugged. "I wanted to see you." He said, plain and simple, fighting the urge to lift his hand and touch her hair.

But he didn't touch her, he just watched as her shoulders dropped and her head moved the sightless to the right; then she turned back to him. "Does your wife knows you are here?" And there, straight to the jugular. Apparently, Regina hadn't lost her edge and that night she was using it against him.

But then, when he said nothing, she pursed her lips, shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Just leave, Robin."

"Can't we…" Robin bit on his lower lip, his eyes delving deep into hers as he lifted and then dropped his arms. There was so much to say… so much he wanted to vent… but he didn't even know where to start and he didn't think she would want to hear. "Can't we just sit here and... we don't have to talk about this whole mess… I won't bother you about it, I just need a moment."

"Robin…" She breathed out, closing her eyes as if not to lose her patience with him. But then she twisted her rosy-colored full lips into what he assumed was a grimace of acceptance and before she could change her mind, he moved forward and sat by her side.

For a few minutes, they just sat there, side by side and being careful not to touch.

But it wasn't at all what he wanted so wanting to break the silence, he sighed and spoke. "How are you doing?"

"Better than ever." She said through clenched teeth and Robin didn't have to delve deep into her words and her tone to know that she was lying.

For all her reputation she wasn't much of a good liar, her eyes would betray her and she would always try to cover her false statements with a façade of bravado. Be it a snort, a clench of her teeth or a roll of her eyes.

But instead of blowing her cover, he just shrugged and moved his face to the side so that he could take a look at her. She looked flawless as always, her skin, smooth as porcelain, her lips full and inviting and her eyelashes long and perfect. "At least one of us is doing alright."

As he said that, her face turned to him and her soft brown eyes meet with his blue ones. It took a lot of efforts not to pull her to him and kiss her in that moment, but he managed.

"You should be better than ever. I mean the love of your life was returned and now you have everything you ever wanted in your life."

Robin snorted and even though he promised not to talk about the mess they were into, he couldn't help it. "In essence, yes, I have it all, but what to do when that isn't enough?"

Pushing the inside of his cheek with the tip of his tongue, Robin tried to explain himself better.

"You know, for a long, long time, all I wanted in this life was for Marian to be well and alive; I would have given up everything for that hope to become reality… but now that she is here, all I can think is how she isn't the one I want to be with. Now, don't get me wrong because I do love her, but she… she isn't you."

And yes, he loved his wife, he really did, but it was hard not to feel like her hair wasn't the right texture, or that her lips didn't have the right taste and how, her scent felt wrong and how her smile didn't make his entire being feel alive. True, it made him feel guilty not to be a hundred percent into his wife, but it was how it was, it was how he felt.

Closing her eyes and moving her face away, Regina pursed her lips.

"When I told you that I moved on from the memory of her, it was because I did. Yes, I do love her for what we had and because she is the mother of my boy but I am not in love with her. I've tried to change that and go back to what we had before she passed… but as it turns out I can't."

"Don't do this." Regina said without opening her eyes and Robin's hands itched to touch her, to reach for her and tend the pain she was so adamant to hide.

"I know that with everything that is happening, it is hard for you to look at me in the eye but that is my whole truth. I love you, Regina, and as long as you are in my mind I won't be able to love my wife back and that… it kills me have this in my chest because I feel like I owe it to her to love her and I just can't."

With that said, Robin took her chin in his hands and forced her to look at him. In that position her face was barely below his, her eyes wild and shining into his.

"How… can you love me when I was the reason you lost her in the first place?" Regina said in the lowest of whispers as a single tear slid down her cheek.

Frowning, the former thief moved his head to the right. "How come?"

Snorting bitterly, she moved her chin away from his touch and wiped angrily at her tear. "Didn't she tell you?" She spat almost angrily. "Apparently, Emma saved her from my black knights, I had her imprisoned and was about to execute her. I would have done so if it wasn't for her… meaning that at some point in my past, I did."

"But, Regina…" Robin said, taking hold of her chin once again. "Marian didn't die executed and let alone by you or your black knights. She died while we were in the run because she was sick and I couldn't get her the proper care."

Blinking slowly, Regina opened her mouth as if to speak. But then she just closed her eyes again, shaking her head as she did before. She didn't said anything so he kept on, spilling his heart out.

"Now, sometimes when I see Roland with his mother I tell myself that sticking to her is the best and sometimes I even believe it is, but then I think about you or I see you and I know that there's no way I can control what I feel for you."

"Stop it, Robin, I really mean it." She said, her voice a soft whisper against his face.

At her words, Robin moved his hand from her chin to her cheek, enjoying the way her soft skin felt underneath his fingers. He had missed it, he had missed all of her.

While his hand remembered in touch he took a good look at her face and by the way she was chewing on her lips he could say that her walls were crumbling, thing that was good because he wanted them down.

"Why, I made the mistake of walking away before and I don't want to do it again."

To that statement, Regina opened her stormy eyes to him. "Because it's the right thing to do and you know it."

"It doesn't feel right to me."

"Well then you'll have to make it feel right."

Clenching his jaw, Robin snorted. "And don't you think I've tried that? Regina, I have tried to come up with a thousand reasons of why I need to forget you, I invented a million ways not think about you and all that has been in vain so don't make it sound as if it is that easy."

Arching an eyebrow, Regina shrugged and twisted her lips. "I think it's better if you leave."

At her request, Robin took a deep breath and got up to his feet so that he could move away from her, just two steps away.

As he did that, he thought about what was going on… she had always been like this, she was stubborn and that was going to be the end of her, just like it has been the end of him.

Sure; he could make it without her, he just needed to pick up the pieces and move on… it would only take him a little bit of time. But no, he didn't want that.

"I love you and I won't stop loving you just because you find it easier to turn a blind eye to what you feel." He took a deep breath and watched as she got to her feet as well.

"Easy? Do you really think I have it easy here?" Snorting and widening her eyes, she took a step closer to him. "I'm the one that was left behind in this whole ordeal so don't you even dare saying it's easy for me. You don't know anything… you don't know how it is for me to know you are out there with her, you just don't know. It is not easy… but if there is one thing that helps me pull together is that at least you are happy with your family so why don't you go and be just that?"

Regina finished her little talk by shoving him hard.

"Now go, just leave!"

Nodding while seeing her as angry as he has ever seen her, he took a step away from her, probably meaning to walk out. But then he halted and walked to her. He didn't give her time, he just went to her and when he was close enough he captured her lips with his.

She didn't fight it, as soon as the contact was made she wrapped an arm around his neck and granted him entrance pass her lips.

He took what she gave, deepening the kiss and drinking on the feeling that was kissing the woman he loved. It has been such a long time and wanted to savor every second, the taste of her, to take on the way her body molded to his.

This was the way it was supposed to feel, how it was supposed to be, just the two of them giving in to each other.

Taking on the opportunity, he moved one hand to her hair, burying his fingers though her silky strands, pulling her even more into him. She was like he remembered; maybe even better, she was everything that he ever wanted.

He could stay like this, kissing her forever but he also wanted to reach to her very core… so pulling away from the kiss he swallowed hard and watched her.

She was with her eyes closed and her face flushed; there had been so many times that he had seen that face. "Regina, as long as I know that you feel for me as I feel for you I won't walk away, as long as your body responds to mine like this I won't let go."

"I can't." She said, pressing her forehead against his.

He placed a finger against her lips. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?" He asked pulling away. She was still with her eyes closed and when his hand brushed her hair off her face she took in a shaky breath. "I love you."

At his words, Regina shook her head and pouted her lips, if she was going to say something it got lost when he brushed his lips to hers before fully kissing her once again.

In Robin's mind, he knew that things were not going to be easy, but by the way she was responding he could say that it was a going to be worth it.

He was no longer going to be content with just watching her, he wanted more, he wanted it all.

"I love you," He mumbled once more against her lips before resuming the kiss. Yes, loved her, it has never been a matter of that as it hadn't been a matter of she loving him back.

He knew her heart, he was her heart and this time he was going to do everything in his power to get back to her.

"Just give me the chance and I'll make it all better." He whispered in a plead.

Regina wrapped both arms around him and pulled closer to him. For a moment that was all she did, cling to him as if her life depended on it; but then, lowering her hands to his sides she breathed into his scent and pressed her lips to his shoulder. "We can't."

"Of course we can." Holding her close, he said, trying to find a way he could reach to her and make her understand that she was the one he loved and wanted to be with.

"I'm not going to wreck your marriage, I just… I won't." After saying that, she pulled away from him and without giving him a chance to say something, she disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate all comments and suggestions. As for this chapter, it is a short fill in for next ones but I hope you still enjoy ;)

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Her heart was beating so hard inside her chest that for a wild moment, Regina was afraid that her ribcage was going to break with the force of it and that the organ was going to take that opportunity to escape and hide out of reach.

Who knew, with all the twist and turns life was throwing her way, it would be better for her heart to do just that. That way, she wouldn't have to be bothered by such things as dealing with baneful inconveniences as feelings or what was worse, with mundane nuisances as being brokenhearted.

Perhaps it was better that way… but the thing was that her heart wasn't doing any of that, it was just there… thundering painfully hard and out of control; even the sound of it was deafening and no matter how many deep breaths she would inhale through her nose and then release through her mouth, nothing seemed to calm it.

It was all pretty bad and nothing she has experienced before, and as if that wasn't enough, her hands were shaking, her legs felt way too weak under her weight and her stomach was in constant turmoil; overall, she was a mess, after she has worked so hard to come to terms with the wicked trials and tribulations she was presented with, he just came and in a matter of nothing he made a mess out of her, again.

"Regina, can you stop pacing and tell me what happened?"

Swirling on her feet and clasping both her hands over her head, Regina closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

If truth had to be told, she didn't want to tell the other woman the reason she was so altered… no, far from it, after all she was used to deal with her feelings on her own instead of getting them out of her chest and that was what she wanted to do; to lock herself in her house and spend her days submerged in her eternal sorrow, fighting tears, confused with a turmoil of feelings that wanted nothing but to consume her and then to force herself to become numb of said feelings.

But at the same time, she felt like she needed to vent in order to prevent exploding; she felt like she needed to let it all out and who else could she do that with the only person who could understand her? That was the reason she went to her, why she appeared in the middle of the night in the room the fairy was now renting.

The only problem was that she hadn't said a word since she first appeared and well, if she wanted to vent, she needed to start talking. Thinking about that and opening her eyes, the dark haired focused her gaze on the ceiling and after taking yet another deep breath, she approached the subject with caution.

"I saw Robin tonight." Her tone, detached and perhaps a bit cold came out steady and of that, she was proud.

"Oh, Regina…"

"He came to me and… he told me that he loves me." She said through clenched teeth in a less than calmed tone of voice and as the words were left out, she could feel her eyes stinging with unshed tears. "Just when I was feeling positive that I was going to pull through, he comes to tell me that and now I- I don't know what to do or what to feel…"

And no, she really didn't know what it was that she was feeling. In the followings weeks after Robin's wife came back, she has come to the conclusion that being happy wasn't in her stars and even though the thought was devastating, she made her peace with it. She has been a fool to believe that she of all people had an actual shot for a second chance and everything that happened opened her eyes to the reality of it all.

It took her a while to swallow all that in but at the end she came to accept it; but then he came professing a love she thought lost and all she has worked hard to get came crumbling around her and now she was confused… she was angry, despairing, bitter and more than a bit lugubrious. She was drowning in a sea of feelings and as always, no one was throwing her a lifesaver.

She was basically choking with all feelings she has tried to bury and she needed to let them out or else she was going to suffocate.

"I just… I can manage with what I feel but I can't deal with it if I know that he feels something."

"What did he exactly said?"

Sniffing, Regina wiped at her eyes. "He wants me to give him a chance."

"Is he going to leave his wife?"

Shaking her head, Regina blinked a couple of times. He didn't say that he was going to do that and she didn't ask so who knew, maybe he wanted them both, maybe he wanted to keep his wife and keep her too.

"When you said that… that I ruined both my life and his, was this what you were referring to?"

Pursing her lips as if considering it, Tinker Bell shrugged. "Perhaps. I mean when I said that, I didn't have anything concrete but looking at the whole picture now, it could be. You see, when you walked out on him that first time, you changed your destiny; he met Marian and fell in love with her and you casted the dark curse, thus you shaped the path you were both going to travel in."

Snorting bitterly, Regina allowed herself to sit in a corner of the fairy's bed. "In other words, I'm the one to blame for all of this." Of course, it always came to that, to her having done things she would later regret.

"Yes, but do you want to know something; I've been thinking about this quite a lot and it could also be that meeting Robin in that tavern wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. Maybe, you were after all destined to meet him here and now."

"Was his wife also destined to come back to life?"

Sitting by her side, Tinker Bell blew out a breath. "She doesn't belong here… I have nothing against her but she isn't supposed to be here. Robin must know it too if he wants you over her."

Chewing on her lips, Regina shrugged. She didn't think that Robin really wanted her over his wife; if anything, the man was confused and she didn't want to be the one confusing him even more. Sure, it would have been so easy to give into her feelings and accept whatever he was willing to give her, but the truth was that doing so would have been a huge mistake.

Robin was a good man and she… she was rotten apples and true happiness wasn't meant for her, meaning that at the end she would have only managed to drag him down with her and it wouldn't have been fair.

She should be content that at least she had Henry; in fact, that should be all that mattered.

"If it wasn't for Henry, I would leave this town for good never to come back." And by God, she would have done so many things if it wasn't for her son. Like erasing her memories and start anew somewhere else or perhaps take the same path her sister took and cast a curse to back in time.

Now that she knew that such a thing could be done, she couldn't stop wondering what would happen if she could go back to her youth and prevent Daniel's death; that would solve every single one of her current problems… there would be no path of revenge, there would be no darkness taking over her life and there would be no Robin in her heart.

True, to do such a thing also meant that there would be no Henry and that was enough to make her desist.

"You should look at it this way, at least you know how it feels to love and be loved… twice, I've never lived that and as things are going, I'll never will."

Tilting her head to the side, Regina looked at the woman sitting beside her. Tinker Bell was staring off absent mindedly and even though her lips were slightly curving at the edges, there was no trace of amusement in her face.

"Well, taking in consideration that my first love was killed by my own mother and that the second one just reunited with a wife we all thought death, I wouldn't be considering myself lucky."

"Point taken." Arching an eyebrow, Tinker Bell snorted while nudging at Regina with an elbow and despite her rotten mood, the Queen chuckled. "Maybe we should both get out of here and experience life outside. It would be fun, two friends venturing out."

"Friends…" Regina let the word roll out of her tongue and for a minute, she considered it. A friend… she couldn't remember ever having a friend before but yeah, if anyone could be considered one, it would be the fairy. After all besides Henry, the blonde has been the only one giving her any kind of support and she really appreciated it. "That would be nice… someday."

"So do you plan on giving Robin a chance?"

Twisting her lips in a grimace, Regina shook her head and lowered her head in a way that her hair created a black veil around her face. "All I want is for him to be happy and he will never achieve that with me. If he comes to me again I'll just tell him that I don't love him and that I don't want to ever see him again; he'll respect that."

True, it would hurt to say that but if there was something she knew, it was that he needed to stay away from her.

Sighing, Tinker Bell nudged at her once more. "Pixie dust doesn't lie, Regina; Robin is your soul mate so one way or another, you are going to end up with him. Maybe it will take a while for him to see it and for you to accept it again, but it will happen. You just wait and see."

TBC


End file.
